Ben Collier

Miss You Mate

Dear Ben,

Light up, light up,
As if you have a choice,
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I will be right beside you dear.

Louder, Louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do….

“Grief is the price we pay for love” and the grief over Ben’s passing has been enormous and shows how much so many of us loved him. It illustrates how much Ben was held in the hearts of those who were privileged enough to meet and know him.

Here are some words attributed to Nelson Mandala and which I think are appropriate when we think of Ben; “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Ben liberated many of us from our petty worries and nonsense. His courage in the face of overwhelming odds showed us the weakness we indulge ourselves in while ignoring the very real gift of life itself. Ben shone out like a beacon and by his graciousness and decency gave us so much to admire and aspire to in our own lives.

Life is not counted by the amount of breaths we take but by the times our breath is taken away; not by the number of times our heart beats but by the times our heart skips a beat. Ben, our breath was taken away a number of times and our hearts skipped many beats at Old Trafford, Wembley, and at The Cedars.

And that was what you witnessed Ben, The Cedars and its people at their best. Their generosity and love is something to behold. Their love for you and sympathy for you but without being morbid was incredible and I know how much you appreciated it. But they appreciated you even more; for there was a young man, who despite being desperately ill, didn’t mope around and feel sorry for himself. No, you stood up and said if I only have so much time then I’m going to enjoy it to the best of my ability and they loved you for having that attitude. We wish we could be like you in similar circumstances but deep inside many of us know we probably couldn’t conduct ourselves like you. We might shrink from the task. It was then Ben that we realised you were the best of us.

You gave us so much pleasure during those last days with your charm and wit, courage and fortitude. Everyone who witnessed the dignity and strength with which you bore your illness will never forget it. Indeed, it will remain an inspiration to us; an example of when ever we feel we are at a low ebb and we feel the world is against us we can remember you and think “It isn’t that bad”. You left that legacy Ben and everyone who knew you will be grateful to you for that.

Pete G

January 7, 2009

my prayers are with all of bens family

i only met ben when he came onto our ward .and it was heartbreaking for such a young lovely man .to have his illness i looked after him the night before his theatre ....on his 17th b/day all i can say is my thoughts and prayers are with you all and im sure ben will be looking down on you all goodnight and godbless benxxxxxxx

Josie (met ben at uhcw)

August 2, 2008

I am so sorry for your loss, my 20 year old brother died in the same way so i know how angry and confused your feeling. they say time heals but i dont know, when its someone so young you always ask why them, my faith in the knowledge that the is no more pain helps me and i hope you can take comfort in knowing hes not suffering any longer. Ive got a vision of all the teenagers that have passed up in heaven playing on playstations and computers and it makes me smile. Try to imagine him doing what he enjoyed in his life in heaven surrounded with peace tranquility and love. Godbless you all and i wish you all the best

Elaine Hoare (passerby)

June 21, 2008

In My Red Paradise


Although I’m gone it’s not goodbye

So try to smile and don’t you cry

I’ve found my heaven in the skies

I’m a man u fan in paradise


Every game that man u play

These fans are with them all the way

Cheering on from high above

For the boys in red the team we love


Everyday I meet new friends

In my paradise that never ends

Where smiling faces beam with pride

In our colours side by side


So live your life and please don’t dwell

And be at peace I’m safe and well

In fields of green and rich red skies

I wait for you in paradise.
xxx

Charlotte Chris Mallins Mum

June 17, 2008